Men Need Intimacy, Too
By Ina Mlekush M.A. M.F.C.C.
When did your father stop holding you?
When were you too old to cry in your mother's arms?
When did you realize you needed intimacy and not just sex?
In my Spiritual Sexuality sessions, many men share their longing for touch and intimacy from their partners. They are not just looking for S-E-X. There is a difference in being touched in a way that says let's get this over with, or a sincere caressing that heals. "I have never been touched the way you touch me," is a common response. I explain I am touching with energy. The entire body needs to be touched and awakened with intimate caring energy.
Men have been accused of having a one-track mind. Wives interpret every touch as a lead-in to having sex. So wives stop touching and being intimate for fear they will have to have sex all the time. Actually I see nothing wrong with having lots of sex. Especially since the older we get, the more sex, intimacy and touching we need.
Men, you need to learn how to be a good lover. Perhaps your wife is using aging as an excuse because of your lack of skill level. Women, if you had more sex with your husband, he would not be so hungry and needy all the time. Women and men could experience the sensual intimate touching both so desperately need. This is called mutual benefit and welfare, giving to the other because it makes you feel good to give!
The largest sex organ we have is between our ears. It is our state of mind. The hormones may not be raging anymore. With a good education (which most of us never got), we would know the importance sexual intimacy plays in our overall health. Laughter, playfulness, teasing, touching and talking are the precursor to a happy relationship, no matter our age.
Many of us have bought into the myth that with age we stop desiring sex. Not true. Those who are sexually active as they age are more vibrant, are years younger then their peers and have energy to live a more fulfilling life. Many men have allowed their wives to call the shots when it has come to their sex life. After the children are born or at some non-descript point in their life, sex is not talked about or made a priority. Meaning, couples have sex once every month or two or twice a year.
I wish to acknowledge the women who are sexually alive and vibrant and love sex. Go for it girls!! Due to the fact that 1 out of every 3 women have been sexually molested or raped in their life means there is a lot of sexual dysfunction also.
I present this question; if you are running a business and you have a greater, healthier knowledge and understanding of the business than your partner, which one should take the lead? Then, why do you not approach your love relationship with the same common sense?
Educate yourself! Whichever one of you is inclined to do so and share the knowledge. Be loving with gentle strength. Little to no sex in your relationship is not acceptable. Attentiveness and follow-through is what made your business successful. So cross train and apply the same principals. Remember you must talk about what is working and what is NOT working - negotiate for success. Every day is an opportunity to be passionately in love, a challenge with the reward being priceless.
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Ina Mlekush M.A. M.F.C.C., Sexual Solutions. Ina is a marriage/relationship counselor resolving sexual problems, in private practice dealing with issues of erectile dysfunction, early or delayed ejaculation, loss of sex drive, aging, and teaching female ejaculation and non-orgasmic solutions. Mature men and women, you do not need to be without honest intimate touching. Resolve doubt and sexual insecurity, erectile dysfunction, premature or delayed ejaculation.