The Untold Story
By Ina Mlekush M.A. M.F.C.C.
Many of the articles I write come from my clients. I change a few
key points to protect their privacy.
I have one client who has two lovely boys, one and five years old.
His wife is alcoholic in full denial. She physically attacks him,
chokes him and scratches his face, drawing blood. He came to see
me because of early ejaculation, not a dysfunctional relationship.
This man is not a wimp. He is an ex-competitive martial artist.
He cannot lay a finger on his wife even to defend himself or he
will be going to jail. This man is no longer in the prime of his
life and he is about 40 pounds overweight, making him a big guy.
He has left his home under physical attack from his wife, going
to his next-door neighbors' house for them to witness his bloodied
face. He has called the police, who thought he was the perpetrator
till they saw her ranting and raving and his bloody face and suggested
he have her arrested. He thought it would be too traumatic for his
children. Wrong. Living with a raging mother is traumatic.
His oldest boy will come running out of his bedroom yelling mommy
mommy stop hitting daddy, and begins hitting his mommy, trying and
get her to stop hitting his father. My client tells his little boy
not to hit his mother, that it is not right and he leaves to stop
the cycle. His neighbors gave him an open door policy anytime he
needs to escape.
This man has a booming franchise business and supports his wife
and children in a beautiful large home. He does not want to lose
his children or his home; they used to love each other.
He has found bottles of booze hidden in the laundry, in an upstairs
bedroom, bathroom, in the kitchen, den and even found her passed
out on their bed asleep in her own vomit. He videotaped this.
They have stopped being sexual. He has no desire to be intimate
with her. He prefers to masturbate. When he finally does have sex
with her he has early ejaculation. Of course this could happen due
to the long stretches between having intercourse and wanting to
get it over with.
Early ejaculation was a minor problem compared to the physical
abuse and irrational behavior of his wife. I recommended he get
a lawyer. Too much damage had already been done to him and his children.
The children were already establishing a pattern of seeing physical
abuse. Physical abuse gets passed down from one generation to another.
The contamination and violence had already infiltrated the mind,
body and heart of these children especially the eldest. How were
these young boys going to relate to future girlfriends and lovers?
This man found out through active surrogacy work that he could
get an erection and maintain it for 45 minutes. More importantly
he realized he had a responsibility to protect his sons and himself.
To secure a safe home and get a good lawyer.
When an alcoholic is in denial they have to hit bottom, lose everything
then maybe they will deal with their disease.
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Ina Mlekush M.A. M.F.C.C., Sexual Solutions. Ina is a marriage/relationship counselor resolving sexual problems, in private practice dealing with issues of erectile dysfunction, early or delayed ejaculation, loss of sex drive, aging, and teaching female ejaculation and non-orgasmic solutions. Mature men and women, you do not need to be without honest intimate touching. Resolve doubt and sexual insecurity, erectile dysfunction, premature or delayed ejaculation.