Relationship Agreements, Part I
By Ina Mlekush M.A. M.F.C.C.
There are different types of relationships that are available to us. You can enjoy a committed closed monogamous or open relationship; open paired sharing, triad or "dating" also known as "free dancing".
Monogamy is certainly one of the most challenging relationships; therefore it can be one of the most rewarding. Most people have adopted monogamy because of their religious upbringing and it seemingly provides security. The fact is, for a monogamous relationship to last, it must go through many changes, which means death and renewal.
Within any relationship choice there are basic agreements, which are established by your higher self and honoring sacred law. These agreements are called Children's Fire Agreements, which come from the Mayan Traditions of Chuluaqui Quodoushka, teachings of spiritual sexuality.
These Children's Fire Agreements are also called the "Breath of Life" or " The Fire From Within" and for humans it is our internal knowing of how the universe is working. Two of the sacred laws that help protect and ensure future generations are " All things are born of Woman" and "Let nothing be done to harm the children."
When the Children's Fire has nothing to do with civil, social, religious or cultural laws: this is the way the universe is working. If you screw with this, you screw with the entire universe and the ability of life to recreate itself in a continuous and infinite spiral.
When you are going to make a relationship choice you are taking your Children's Fire into a usually unconscious agreement—5 agreements—so that you will stay in alignment with Sacred Law. It is about assuming authority, taking responsibility and stepping into your power if you are going to have a healthy happy relationship.
Remember that you are not making these relationship choices consciously; your higher self has made them. The Elders say, only way you can keep all these agreements is to stay in the now, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and sexually.
How do you cross another's Children's Fire? When you willfully and deliberately with intent hurt another or yourself or when you stop another or yourself from growing and evolving.
The Five Monogamous agreements are:
- "I will hold with intimacy, gather together with this woman/man and care for one another, which kindles the Children's Fire.
- Each must accept the other as they are. You cannot try to make anyone else change to suit your needs. This makes love an act of power.
- Let go of the past completely. The past is brought up only when it is necessary to bring it into the now. You cannot change the past you can only learn from it.
- Loyalty is the willingness to forgive each other's transgressions. The sanctity of a relationship can only be broken with the willful intent to hurt oneself or the other.
- It is necessary to establish an Integrity Clause in your relationship meaning accept the other's choices for growth and reflect a clear mirror when your significant other is doing something that's blocking their growth. This is not guilt, blame, or shame, accusations or attacking. You do not have to like it and you still need to support their freewill to experience life and learn from it
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Ina Mlekush M.A. M.F.C.C., Sexual Solutions. Ina is a marriage/relationship counselor resolving sexual problems, in private practice dealing with issues of erectile dysfunction, early or delayed ejaculation, loss of sex drive, aging, and teaching female ejaculation and non-orgasmic solutions. Mature men and women, you do not need to be without honest intimate touching. Resolve doubt and sexual insecurity, erectile dysfunction, premature or delayed ejaculation.