Lover, Partner, Parent
By Ina Mlekush M.A. M.F.C.C.

Each person journeys into the world of lover, relationship partner, businessperson or parenting differently. The challenge is how to be well balanced. Men need to maintain and cultivate the strength of their masculinity and women need to nurture the power of their femininity.

As a marriage, family, child counselor and spiritual sexuality therapist coach, the largest complaint I hear from both men and women is that their sex life dies. There is a focus on one or two of the roles at the expense of being a lover. The so-called more important things in life take over, like working, parenting your children, and building your business. Your personal relationship and your sex life take a back burner.

When it comes to being a lover to your partner or parenting the children, men and women have a primal instinctual difference.

For women, the children will always come first. Once the baby is born the whole ball game changes. If men knew this, only the most devout paternal men would have children. Men want a partner, lover and friend to share life with. As much as men may love their children, they are waiting for them to grow up so they can have a buddy. In the meantime, the child is getting mothers’ attention, time and energy. The man is now on the bench waiting for a scrape of passion at the end of the long day.

For men, making love comes first and the children are second. This woman is his lover and friend and the kids better understand that, no matter their age. After all, when they grow up and are gone he will still be there. A little known fact is that men feel nurtured from their first chakra (wheel), their life force sexual energy, their genitals. Intercourse is an expression of intimacy and nurturing for men.

Women, on the other hand, need to give and receive nurturing from their third chakra (wheel) or womb space. This is not sexual but can be sensual. They want to hold and be held by the man, caress and feel the passion and love in their womb. This is what opens the women up to wanting to have intercourse - sometimes, but not always. This can be very frustrating for the man. He wants a lover, not a mother.

Women, a man needs for you to talk to his cock. Unlike us a man likes the direct route. Make an agreement that all cock play does not lead to intercourse. It is an expression of your desire, passion and intimacy. Then play with his cock as often as possible. Your attention to his cock has a direct impact on his self-worth and self-esteem.

Men, a woman needs for you to talk to her womb. Gently place your palm across her belly. Talk to her. Share your dreams, desires and vulnerabilities. Let her know how important she is to you. Your honoring of her sacred womb space has a direct impact on her self-worth and self-esteem.

It is important to redefine your priorities. Keep intimacy, sex and time as a couple at the top of your list. The rest of your life will benefit from this decision.

Ina Mlekush M.A. M.F.C.C., Sexual Solutions. Ina is a marriage/relationship counselor resolving sexual problems, in private practice dealing with issues of erectile dysfunction, early or delayed ejaculation, loss of sex drive, aging, and teaching female ejaculation and non-orgasmic solutions. Mature men and women, you do not need to be without honest intimate touching. Resolve doubt and sexual insecurity, erectile dysfunction, premature or delayed ejaculation.